Attachment

Do you often find yourself in romantic relationships where there’s a lot of push and pull? Do you sometimes doubt your own worth or struggle to trust others? You might be dealing with underlying attachment issues. If this resonates with you, keep reading!

In your childhood, the interactions with your parents and primary caregivers lay the foundation for how you connect with others later in life. Generally, there are two types of attachment: secure and insecure attachment.

Were your parents able to give you the emotional care you needed as a child, while also respecting your autonomy? If so, you likely developed a secure attachment style. About 60% of people have a secure attachment. When you're securely attached, you have a basic trust in both yourself and others. This allows you to feel free to be yourself and form intimate relationships with others.

With an insecure attachment, there is a lack of basic trust in yourself and/or others. This is often rooted in a sense of loss, an unfulfilled emotional need from your childhood. This 'old childhood pain' can be triggered in your later relationships, causing you to fall back into survival mechanisms you developed as a child to cope with the loss. This can make it much harder to have healthy relationships with others.

Children with addicted parents, parents with mental health issues, or those who have experienced divorce or loss often develop an insecure attachment. But sometimes, there’s nothing obvious at the root. Even children with loving parents have, at times, lacked the emotional care they needed. This might include feeling 'invisible,' 'not allowed to be yourself,' having to suppress emotions, not feeling comforted or supported, or feeling pressured.

Even later in life, you can develop an insecure attachment, especially by entering a relationship with an insecurely attached partner. This can lead to increased uncertainty, loss of trust, and sometimes even adopting the other person’s behavioral patterns.

Luckily, there’s hope! Your attachment style continues to develop throughout your life. By investing in your own mental growth and gaining positive experiences, you can change your attachment style for the better. I have all the tools and experience to guide you through this process. Keep in mind that there’s no 'quick fix.' It’s a journey that takes time and insight, but it’s one where you’ll definitely experience the reward!